A huge part of my work is helping clients focus on the present time. Working with The Power of Three: Gratitude Acceptance and Detachment it is important to acknowledge the present time.
A client will come to see a coach because they are unsettled or unhappy with their present situation. They want to move forward, they may have a specific goal in mind or simply do not want to feel how they feel at the present time. That acknowledgment that a shift is required is the first step to making changes that are life lasting.
Questions are Important in a coaching relationship.
However many clients are surprised at my questioning, helping clients to delve into why they are feeling as they feel, the reasons why shift is required and also what the difference will be once their goal is achieved.
If they cannot be focussed on one thing now in the present what will make the big difference in the future?
If they are only focussed on one thing what other things are they missing out on?
It is so important to understand how we work as individuals and how our belief system and upbringing has such an impact on our thought processes and the mind chatter we listen too. Our internal dialogue – you know the self talk that we wouldn’t dream of saying to our best friend, partner, loved ones or even a stranger yet we talk ourselves down, berate ourselves and lay blame and resentment firmly on our own shoulders to carry the weight of not being good enough or or being too lazy, unfocused or any number of things.
We will work on delving into the mindset of how the client sees their world now. Is it apathy, stress, anxiety or fear driven? There are many drivers and we work to find them throughout The Power of Three programme. As a Life Coach based in Sheffield UK, I see my clients in the Clarity room or work on line via zoom or skype conference calls.
The start of the Power of Three is all about mindset work for the client and helping to become their own best friend. Giving personal permission to recognise who they are and what they want. As we will often place the opinions of others before our own. This makes decision making difficult and self doubt creeps in and takes residence.
My latest client on The Power of Three programme is currently working on a challenge set by myself. The challenge is to spend 30 minutes per day Doodling or Colouring.
My client thinks so!
It is an important task to help the client remove themselves from the concept of ‘doing’ and being future focussed. That it is ok to ‘waste’ time and simply just be. Because that is when inspiration often strikes, when stress levels reduce and when acceptance and detachment are at their most powerful.
My client has noticed a difference in a week combining Doodling, Colouring and of course Gratitude into the daily routine has already had an impact in such a short time. Imagine what achievements can be accomplished in the Three Months we are working together. I am excited to find out.
The client said 30 minutes was too long, what if they couldn’t fit in?
I replied in that case it should be done for an hour. As the Zen saying goes –
“If you do not have time to meditate for 20 minutes then meditate for an hour”
My client laughed until they realised I was serious. They have not missed a 30 minute session. During this weeks session I dared to imply there may come a time that they doodle or colour for longer periods of time as they found enjoyment.
They said they didn’t think that would happen!
That of course is fine because they may find something else they love to lose themselves in, something that sparks joy, contentment and creates focus for the now. Facilitating those precious moments that allow inspiration, and release.
The doodling will become a form of meditation eventually. Like all things of value it takes time to appreciate.
Do you spend time totally focussing on one thing very often?
No phone no conversations, no distractions?
Maybe Colouring is not for you as an individual but there will be something out there that will help you to lose yourself in something that could be considered mindless or perhaps a waste of time. However this relates to perceptions. Switching off totally is good for the soul, creativity and stress levels.
Here are my top ten tips for activities to lose yourself.
Colouring – I won’t apologise it is one of my favourite activities. I can get lost with some markers, or pencil crayons for hours on end.
Reading – Easy reading a favourite magazine, or a light novel nothing too heavy and not personal development!
Walking – Alone or with a dog. No other distractions
Swimming – lane swimming simply up down, up down no need to speed.
Running – the rhythm of your step can be quite meditative.
Music – Classical to Rock – Appreciate it all and dance until you lose your inhibitions.
Massage – A great way to self-care lay back and relax don’t be tempted to speak during treatment. .
Sauna / Steam room – close your eyes and spend time detoxing your mind and body.
Meditation – If you struggle to meditate there are lots of downloads and relaxations available
Mindfulness – A practice that is a skill in itself. Being aware of the present moment. It is so much more than sitting quiet it is experiencing the moment. Totally feeling, seeing, tasting and hearing the experience of being in that moment.
With all those options and many more available why did I chose colouring and doodling for my client? The client had mentioned something during a session that helped me realise that colouring and doodling would be a challenge for the client – BUT I knew it would become rewarding and helpful for the client. Even though it doesn’t quite bring my client excitement and joy at the moment I know the effects of the challenge will facilitate huge growth for the future.
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