The Great Flour Shortage.
It has been a pretty mediocre couple of weeks for the family.
Elaine admits to discovering a love of low maintenance, the coffee’s, meetings and small talk at networking and business events is replaced by zoom calls where she only has to think about what she is wearing on her tap half. If no lighting is used minimal make up if any is required, she still brushes the whole of her hair but maybe could get away with just the fringe and a quick tuck behind the ears. This does raise the question as to what the
newsreaders do wear under their desks and if the stylist do indeed pay attention to the back of the head. Are their shirts ironed all over or just the front?
So many questions about this new screen life.
She has also discovered that she can work quite happily at her make shift desk in the gym/office/bedroom. It is quite handy as she can look at the weight bench holding her paperwork one day the paperwork will be cleared and that hours exercise the Prime Minister suggests will become part of the lockdown routine.
Elaine can close the door and no-one in the household knows if she is having a nap, or working or indeed working out.
Down The Rabbit Hole
A few short days ago Elaine got lost in the rabbit hole of YouTube –
Since Corona the buzz word in business is Pivot. A friend commented about the irritation and overuse of the word, Elaine immediately hopped to YouTube to find the clip of Ross the character from Friends yelling Pivot, Pivot, and Pivot! Poof just like that an hour and half were gone – outtakes, Brad Pitt’s guest appearance, Elaine’s absolute favourite episode. Her laughter was so surprising Yorkshire Hollywood enquired as to what work she was actually doing. She was just about to mumble something about research for a project when man-boy entered the room and grassed her up as to watching ancient comedy during work time. Elaine decided man-boy needs to work on his loyalty.
The Great Flour Shortage
It has been a trying time for Yorkshire Hollywood as the flour shortage was getting to be a tad stressful. Aldi, Sainsbury’s, Asda and Morrison’s all a big fat no for flour. There is self-rising flour available but that doesn’t do a Yorkshire pudding or a loaf of bread does it? (Apparently not)
On the hunt for strong bread flour Yorkshire Hollywood took to the internet. The process was painful with many sharks putting the cost up or delivery being at ridiculous prices heading towards £20. Yorkshire was having none of that no capitalising on the situation. So he searched and searched until he found a company that could supply not only strong bread flour but actually Canadian Strong Bread flour. As we all know Canadian bread flour is considered amongst the best in the land, it grows a certain way the wheat cracks due to the temperature and therefor it is stronger and more resilient – just like a Canadian Mounty.
Dan The Man
Fast-forward those 10 days and the excitement and anticipation is palpable. The day arrived, was it a weekend? Who knows, the days they merge into one but that morning Yorkshire Hollywood woke with gay abandon as his precious cargo of the ‘strong Canadian’ white stuff was eagerly anticipated between 9.47 and 10 to 11 Dan the delivery man was very precise indeed.
A knock on the door and Yorkshire Hollywood flung the door open to see Dan the delivery man standing a social distance bringing such joy to Yorkshire Hollywood. Tween girl said I think Daddy needs to get some friends and a life. Is he going to draw a face on it and start dating it? Yorkshire Hollywood said if he did, it would probably listen better and pay more attention to him than anyone else in the household.
Bread making can resume hallelujah! But the big question is how long will his yeast supply last as apparently that is like rocking horse sh**t.
Yorkshire Hollywood is nothing if not adaptive, creative and resilient.
He has a new passion that he is nurturing paying attention to encouraging to grow and develop. Feeding it every other day, keeping it at the right temperature in the hope that it will become a viable sour dough. There is now a living organism developing and growing in the kitchen cupboard, lovingly wrapped up with Elaine’s brand new muslin facecloth.
Yorkshire Hollywood is pleased Elaine is such low maintenance and hasn’t missed the facecloth. In all honesty he is not sure he has seen her wash since lockdown began.Day