Are you Building Resilience and Confidence in your everyday life?

Confident for change

Those of you of a certain age will remember the toys Weebles with a catchy advertisement of Weebles Wobble but they don’t fall down. I must admit I used to sing that to my team during pep talks and trainings. I am sure it was a key factor in my teams’ success during my time in cosmetic sales.  They may disagree but I am sticking to the theory. I helped many women boost their businesses by showing them ways of building resilience and confidence every day

Weebles are distinctive egg shaped toys made out of sturdy plastic and when you push them, they wobble but they don’t fall down.  They have “bouncebackability” commonly known as resilience a skill that is required to ensure that we can meet challenges head on, we get up one more time than we fall.

Sometimes it is hard to harness that inner strength because we haven’t built our resilience previously or maybe we do not have the confidence to accept previous “failures” and move forward with renewed enthusiasm.

Its fine to wobble. Sometimes it fun to wobble, the secret of resilience is getting back up regardless of
wobbling, stumbling or even falling flat on your proverbial.

Here are five secrets that will help to build resilience and instil “bouncebackability”.

Meditation

Meditation or doing something that creates a meditative state stops the mind chattering and gives you the time to “just be”. There are many guided meditations around if you are new to meditation or simple black white breath techniques can be used. If meditation is not for you then how about colouring? There are lots of grown up colouring books around. Find “your something” to do be it running, yoga, music, dance or any other activity where you can self-nurture.   I discovered Kudalini Yoga a couple of years ago and that is my time out. Kundalini is a meditative yoga so you don’t have to be so bendy. Check out Deva Raj she hosts online classes or if you are based in Sheffield try the Karma Hub. The time I spend at my weekly yoga class is the time that I renew.  I strongly recommend that you find your space to renew.  The time out is your time to help build your resilience by nurturing and finding space. It is important for a sense of identity and self- worth. Therefore, confidence is built and this has an impact on building resilience.

Challenges

There are many “challenges” out there I am taking part in a 30-day blogging challenge with Sarah and Kevin Arrow from sarkemedia. They provide a 30-day blogging challenge for business owners consisting of creating and publishing a blog post every day over a month long period.  I have also recently joined some online fitness challenges. I was so proud to complete my first 30 day squat challenge from 20 squats to 250 in 30 days and now I have built up to the intermediate level! The secret to a challenge is that once the daily habit starts the increase in application is applied almost without recognition. You suddenly get two weeks in and notice how far you have come so this generates enthusiasm to continue.
Decide on what your next challenge should relate to health and fitness, business and career, personal development and mind-set. Maybe there is a specific area you would like to increase your abilities? Starting is the biggest hurdle; once you have made the start then the rest can only contribute to building resilience. You will create self-awareness that change is possible and success is for the taking.

Dialogue

Check your internal dialogue. How do you speak to yourself? Are you negative in your self-talk? Do you beat yourself up and tell yourself you are a failure and there is no point in trying? Is your internal dialogue full of
“If only”  “it’s not fair”  “it’s too hard” “I can’t”  “I won’t” “I’ll try” “it’s too hard”

You are setting yourself up for failure.
Telling yourself it is impossible before the event that requires resilience means you will wobble and maybe not bounce back up.

Checking your internal dialogue and realigning your self-talk with a “can do” attitude is critical to building resilience. Ways to counteract this are to check in with your thoughts, feelings and external dialogue.

It is time to shake up your internal dialogue and make those shifts.

Alternatives to use.
“I can” “I am doing my best” “Challenges are there to help me grow”  “I enjoy seeing how far I can go”
Think back to times when you have succeeded in the past and what you said to yourself how you created that desire to move forward and meet the challenges head on. Can you harness any of those feelings and thoughts to build your resilience?
Want in on the best free or almost free internal dialogue tool? Go to that drawer you have – you know the one where you put all the stuff that does not have a home or the stationery cupboard or maybe speak to your postman.
Grab an elastic band and slip it on your wrist. Then every time you hear yourself saying something negative twang your band. Short sharp painful reminder to switch your thought processes.
It works try it!

Affirmations.

The use of affirmations is widespread in personal development. The theory being that the statements made will assert the truth.  A goal can be converted into a positive affirmation. “I am a slim and healthy weight” “I can do it” “I am worthy” “It’s easy and it’s fun”
When I first started running I found it difficult and every incline or rain shower would welcome the negative inner dialogue with such gems as “it’s too wet” “the hills will kill me” “it’s too hot” “my lungs may explode” “my legs are going to so hate me in the morning”
I created the affirmation of “it’s easy, it’s easy, it’s easy and it’s fun” this matched my very slow pace and helped me get around so many runs. At one point, the whole of the run group would use it or create their own version. We sounded like America GI’s running around the lake.

Change

Change is inevitable yet we are resistant to it. We take the same drink in the same way every day. We will walk the dog the same route. We will carry out mundane tasks in the same way.  If we go to our regular Restaurant, we will most likely have a preferred table and a favourite meal choice. It is important to embrace change and actively seek out small changes. When we do this as a matter of course then our resilience is naturally built up and we have the ability to deal with changes as they occur and we have a stockpile of resilience to fall back on.

 There you go my five secrets to building resilience.

Here is a bonus secret one that will ensure you keep on track and is possibly the best resilience builder of all time.

It is the TaDah! That is right –Once you have accomplished something and you can recognise your resilience and tenacity for the achievement you must celebrate your greatness.

Celebrate your achievements no matter how big or small.

You may want to record them and build a resilience book. Simply grab a journal and write your successes or maybe take photographs and create a specific Instagram or Pinterest account or store on your phone.  These is a fabulous tool for when the Weeble starts to wobble.

 

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