Sadly it can’t be purchased from the High Street.
Not even from Argos – Nope, No, Nada.
We know the tricks of the trade, the crutches that assist in times of need. The killer heels, the new lipstick and maybe a glass or two of Prosecco.
“We got this”
What if having High Self Esteem were part and parcel of who we were? What if we didn’t have to rely on the crutches of a killer heel pair of confidence boosters?
Confidence and Self Esteem are often misconstrued, people think that having confidence means that you must have a high self esteem to back it up. But it isn’t always the case and often the inside is not giving the same message as the outside is showing.
Back to those heels – You can walk with confidence in killer heels confident in the fact that you can handle the uneven pavement, you have practiced becoming proficient in walking in killer heels. You are confident in your ability to stay upright. (I say go girl! heels are a skill I’m still trying to master)
Inside however, you may have an internal dialogue that everyone is looking at you parading down the high street in those shoes, who does she think she is? What is the point in dressing up and looking lovely when really you feel like S**t and people have no idea how much of an effort it took to get out of the house this morning as you are sure everyone knows the shoes are just a facade to give an illusion that everything is hunky dory.
You feel like a duck on the water. The illusion is that you are swimming along serenely looking the part and maybe even gaining admiring glances and envy from others who walk a similar path.
But reality is. Underneath the surface the feet are going like crazy trying to keep afloat, afraid of getting tangled in weeds, maybe a strong undercurrent will take you by surprise and you just don’t feel prepared.
You want to quack loud and proud but when you shake off those tail feathers, the quack isn’t quiet a quack more of a squark as that is what is expected.
I see this so many times with women. We have so many different circumstances to deal with and roles that vary from day to day. Our default is rather “what should we be saying or doing now” as opposed to doing or saying what we want to do right now.
Confidence and Self Esteem.
Confidence is the ability to carry out a task or a knowledge of something.
Low Self-Esteem is when you have an internal dialogue of not being good enough, feeling worthless, harbouring guilt and many other negative emotions and thought processes.
They don’t always go hand in hand. When your self esteem is giving out a different message to the confidence you express there is an imbalance. The lack of congruence gives unease, can lead to mental health problems and eventually confidence will also decline. This can lead to a lack of desire to socialise, continue with hobbies and activities that previously gave enjoyment.
It is important to realise that you have the divine right to
Feel good about yourself.
Feeling good about yourself, feeling that you are worth your spot on the planet where ever that spot is and where ever you want to claim it.
You are worth it. So lets do a little exercise don’t fret no need to get the legwarmers and water bottle out. Well not on day two anyway!
But you will need a journal and pen or a word document.
Have you ever observed a toddler doing somersaults or dancing to an audience generally of adoring parents? There are no inhibitions and a tenacity that ensures you keep watching until they give permission to stop. What is their agenda? It Simple to gain applause, claps and plaudits for their performance. They thrive on the applause and the attention. This creates a wonderful feeling inside of success, achievement and fulfilment.
It’s a Ta Dah!
Can you remember the last time you had a Ta Dah!? If not why not?
At what point in our lives do we stop the celebration? When is it no longer required to offer praise and plaudits? At what point do we stop noticing our achievements?
Everyone should have a Ta Dah!
Every day you perform your own mini somersault or dance-athon. When you have achieved something that gives you a feeling of pride or excitement then have a Ta Dah! Acknowledge what you have achieved regardless of how small it could appear to others. If its a deal to you then it’s worth a Ta Dah!
I must admit I am greedy and I like to attach jazz hands to my Ta Dah’s too, try it, go on you know you want to.
Your task today is to develop those Jazz Hands and that Ta Dah! feeling.
Grab your journal or document and lets do some reflection, lets feed the self esteem, and polish up the confidence because working from the inside out is so much better in the long term than wearing killer heels.
Are you ready? Time for a Ta Dah List.
Reflection is a wonderful starting point for the Empowered Woman series. Can you recall the M People song Proud? Start to write and embrace those of celebration, Ta Dah’s and Jazz Hands. This exercise is probably one of the most important exercises you can do to help you to gain that congruence between self esteem and confidence.
- Hit the play button on your favourite uplifting tracks.
- Grab your pen and journal or open up your document.
- Start to write things you have done that have made you proud, given you a sense of achievement and you know you should have celebrated with a Ta Dah!
- These can be any achievements that come to mind. They can be from today or yesterday, remember that forward roll you rocked at 4 years old? Doesn’t have to be a huge achievement anything at all from getting the to the meeting on time to passing exams, getting married or divorced.
- There is no minimum or maximum just let it flow.
- Repeat as often as you desire but remember on a daily basis to check your Ta Dah! monitor and give your Jazz hands a wave as often as possible.
So there you have it exercise one of the Empowered Woman Series
Let me know your favourite Ta Dah! moment in the comments below.